Apr 28, 2007

Little Saigon of Horrors

Good evening friends. The wind blows foul on this murky day, the rainclouds show us how much they loathe us by blotting out the sun. Citizens scurry across the street, as a gusty blast brings down a shower of leaves from the helpless trees above. People raise their hands in a feeble attempt to shield themselves from the anger of mother nature. Drivers glance anxiously at the blackened sky as a low rumble of thunder blankets the city. A dog howls as a tornado of dust is whipped up on the mischievous breeze. What is happening? Ugly things are underfoot. Come with me to Saigon's foremost dungeon. They call it a place for motorbikes, although the bizarre paraphernalia balanced on the pipes suggest other uses once we're all in bed.

Picture 211

Here, cobwebs have hung for a hundred years. Eerie dark courners emit mysterious sounds -- running water and distant echoes. I wouldn't investigate if I were you. Occasionally an enormous rat saunters across the floor, the kind that has a couple of scars and an eyepatch. DON'T make eye contact.

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Whatever wizardry, skulduggery or occult worship happens down here, it's nothing compared to the newest terrors of Saigon. A monster is stalking us, slowly smothering the city whilst a zombified population innocently continues about with their futile existence. LOTTERIA, an entity created by a wizard from a hermit kingdom far far away, is the monster in question.

Bach Dang
Picture 191

Nguyen Thi Minh Khai (one of three on this street)....

Picture 192

Nam Ky Khoi Nghai

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Tran Hung Dao

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Corner locations allow the beast to observe better. Be warned. Number of current locations in the city is unknown. With a new tentacle called franchise, the number could be anything -- the Saigon Times reported number nineteen, and that was six months ago....

The Vietnam Economic Times has talked about the arrival of foul bowel destroying gut rot in Vietnam, but it's too late.

If I were you, I'd read this.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

So LOTTERIA is everywhere in Saigon now huh? That sucks big time, but lets hope it won’t become the next StarSuck Coffee like it is here in the U.S. I’ve been to LOTTERIA with my nephew when I was their in May 2006 and thought the burger awful, my nephew couldn’t finish his and we ended going to get some Pho around the corner for the price of the soda that we got at LOTTERIA and it was 10X better.

But I have to admit I was impressed with the KFC, I mean the service of course and not the food. But my nephew did like the chicken (1st time at KFC); I on the other hand was amaze by the “actual” plate and the doorwomen.

I have to say that I do enjoy your blog and hope that Saigon don’t change to fast, but one can only hope.

Anonymous said...

this is well good!

Anonymous said...

Ahh, so I'm back in good ol' Oz Land after being in Saigon for nearly 3wks. It was great for the most part but your numerous Lotteria (a place I avoided like the plague) photos do remind me of what I don't miss about VN. I also went to Vung Tau & I took the exact same photo of Jesus!

VN is not at all about the shopping- which is still non-existent & has not developed at all in the past 6 years I went there before but all about the YUMMY FOOD!

Phil65 said...

Yep, it's a little sad. I tried out Lotteria on Le Loi last year and I guess it was adequate - never come across the chain before so I guess curiosity was a factor. Hopefully the Pho24 chain might give them a run for their money and provide something a little more traditional.

Unknown said...

Oh, the Pho 24 product is awful compared to the real thing! No different to eating a burger at McDonalds when you could make a fantastic one yourself.

gooner said...

Hah! Home made Pho is far easier said then done, nothing at all like a hamburger. Unless you have a secret recipe that can be knocked out in anything under 6 hours.

I find Pho24 is fine for their intended market, a nice decent bowl of pho in clean, cool and relaxed environment.

I agree that Lotteria is absolutely horrid, the burgers are inedible compared to other fast food chains. The only acceptable item on the menu are the little hotdogs, shame about the tiny portion.