Tourist: "So how long are you here for?"
Jon: "Well actually I live in Saigon".
Tourist: (thinking - Yeah right, you mean you've been backpacking and decided to stay there for a couple of months) "Really! Wow. You must miss home. When are you going back?".
Jon: "Errr, well I plan to stay in Vietnam actually. I got married 2 months ago".
Tourist: "Oh, so your wife likes it here too?".
Jon: "Actually my wife is Vietnamese".
Tourist: (thinking - Well......he's quite young so I suppose it could be genuine) "Oh, congratulations!".
Tourist: (thinking - You must be a useless git if you have to come to Vietnam to work) "So what do you do here?"
Jon: "I'm a teacher".
Tourist: "Ahh, English?".
Tourist: "International school?".
Jon: "Um, well, no. It's a Korean School".
Tourist: (thinking - What kind of two-bit outfit is that!) "Really, all Korean kids? In HCMC? Wow".
Jon: "Yeah. I teach them English, Science, Social and Math".
Tourist: "So you're qualified to do that obviously....".
Jon: "Um, well I have a one month TEFL cert".
Tourist: (thinking - I knew it!) "No B Ed?"
Jon (sighing): "No. I just kind of jumped in at the deep end three years ago when I went to Korea. I know what I'm doing in a classroom, don't worry."
Tourist (thinking - not qualified! how unprofessional): "Hmm. So where's your wife now?"
Jon: "She's in HCMC working".
Tourist (thinking - he just went on holiday without her!)
Jon: "Actually we have school holidays now, I'm working part time for a travel guide website....."
Tourist: (thinking - this guy is a pathological liar!). "Oh, that's nice".
And on, and on, and on.